


What Runs Deep

by Boomchick



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boomchick/pseuds/Boomchick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bridge breaks, a cadet falls, and a General saves him. When a dragon attack leaves the General blind, what's a cadet to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An amazing artist in the FFVII fandom was feeling alone in her ship... So I decided to join the ship with her! Make sure to check out Bunny-Boss on deviantart and see who inspired me to start writing Cloud/Seph!

**What Runs Deep**

The hand on his shoulder had very long fingers. They curled easily over his shirt, not holding too tight or resting too lightly. He could feel the strength in that hand, even without it gripping hard. It was heavy, and evened the load between his armored and unarmored shoulders. At any other time, the touch of this particular hand would have left Cloud stunned and stuttering. But this moment was no time for panic or distraction.

“Strife,” Sephiroth murmured from behind him. “We have been walking for an hour. You should take a moment to recover.”

“I'm alright, sir,” Cloud said softly into the cave.

His words echoed quietly through the cavern, and he ducked slightly at the sound of his reverberating voice. In his echo he could hear the quiet catch in his voice left by fatigue. He was tired. There was no use denying that. The thought of his bed back in the barracks had never been so welcome. Yet there seemed to be no end to the cave he was navigating through. It had been a long time since the ambush that left him bloody and bruised and left his General blind.

“How are your eyes, sir?” he asked softly into the darkness. He felt he probably shouldn't ask. It wasn't his place. He was only a cadet, after all—not even one of Sephiroth's soldiers. And even they knew better than to ask after their General's health.

Sephiroth didn't answer for a long time, and despite his adrenaline and the dire situation he found himself in Cloud began to feel his anxiety kick in. He swallowed hard, and winced at how difficult it was. He was dehydrated already. He inhaled deeply, ready to ask forgiveness.

“I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to--”

“They are not improving significantly,” Sephiroth murmured, his low voice interrupting Cloud's apology.

He sounded... Frustrated. Cloud had to work hard not to balk and stare at him for the tone of his words. He'd never heard Sephiroth sound anything less than competent and controlled. He kept walking instead, aiming his flickering flashlight down at the cave floor to keep from falling and dragging Sephiroth down with him. Not that the General would have fallen. He probably would have stood there waiting while Cloud picked himself back up again. Cloud wasn't sure whether that was better or worse than the alternative.

“I'm sorry, sir,” the cadet heard himself staying, not entirely of his own volition. “I wish I could help, but my cure materia--”

“Restorative magic does not work well on me,” Sephiroth said with a shrug that shifted his hand on Cloud's shoulder. “It is no fault of yours or your materia's.”

Cloud fell silent after the words. There was an air of finality to them that he knew better than to go against. If Sephiroth closed a subject, it was closed. There was no one in the military under the rank of Soldier 1st Class who would go against that rule.  
Cloud shivered abruptly, the chill in the cave seeping into his bones as he started to wear down. He should have been able to handle the hike through the cave and more. He probably would have been able to if not for the ambush. Of course, if not for Sephiroth, the ambush would have killed him. Unfortunately, thanks to having to protect him, Sephiroth's eyes had been hurt. Cloud closed his eyes briefly against the memory of fresh, blistering burns his General's face while the man stood there, utterly calm, with blood on his sword.

“Cadet?” Sephiroth's voice broke through his thoughts.

“Sorry, sir, did you say something?” Cloud asked, glancing back. He couldn't see much more than a pale shadow behind him, but even in the dimly reflected flashlight's beam, Sephiroth's hair glinted silver.

“I asked if you were injured. You are shivering.”

“It's just the cold, sir,” Cloud replied, shaking his head mildly. “I'm fine.”

“Strife, we are inside a cave,” Sephiroth said slowly, as though talking to a child. “And there is no draft.”

“Just a little chilly, sir,” Cloud insisted, shaking his head.

“I am aware,” the general replied with a dark note in his voice. “My point is that you should not be. The interior of caves remain at between 60 and 70 degrees in this part of the world, regardless of the time of year outside. If you are beginning to feel unwell, there is likely another reason behind it.”

“Oh,” said Cloud softly, hesitating for the first time and frowning as he took stock of himself.

“We are stopping.” Sephiroth insisted firmly. “Find a place where you will be comfortable.”

“But--”

“Now, cadet.”

The tone left no room for argument. Cloud cast around with his flashlight, but every damp nook of the cave seemed exactly alike. He took a deep breath and lifted the light to his temple, shining it alongside his vision. It was a trick he'd learned from Zack. Looking at the world from that angle, the eyes of insects and animals glittered back with an almost jewel-like brightness. Cloud picked the corner that had the least number of little jewels looking back at him, and led his General there.  
Sephiroth's hand left Cloud's shoulder to touch the wall lightly. Cloud watched his fingertips slide down the stone, and shivered at the very sight.

“Are you getting colder?” Sephiroth asked, sounding concerned.

“No, sir,” Cloud said quickly. “Just thinking.”

“Don't dwell on the battle,” Sephiroth advised. “There will be time for that after you are safely back at Shinra.”

“Yes sir,” Cloud agreed quickly, trying not to sound too eager.

He put out a hand to the wall, starting to slide down to sit, but was stopped by a touch from Sephiroth. It was more a brush of his hand than anything, but the intent behind it stopped Cloud dead in his tracks. Sephiroth's hands relocated to his chest, fiddling with the buckles there carefully and slowly, feeling them out blindly before unfastening them and drawing his glorious jacket off his shoulders.

“Sir--”

“It is made to get wet,” Sephiroth replied before Cloud could object, laying the coat down on the floor before sinking blindly to sit up on it, his legs stretched out before him.

Cloud watched in quiet awe as the General pulled his hair over his shoulder, letting it pool in his lap rather than drag over the slimy wall of the cave. He stared at the beautiful (and now shirtless) man in open shock. It wasn't until Sephiroth cast him a confused, curious look through eyes that were intimidating even with their pupils dilated and unfocused that he remembered he shouldn't stare.

“Sit down, Strife,” Sephiroth instructed.

Cloud followed the command without conscious thought, and in the blink of an eye he found himself seated right next to his hero—the greatest fighter in Shinra—the demon of Wutai—the Silver General. He was bigger up close. His head was easily an extra foot or two over Cloud's. It didn’t help that in the dim light from the flashlight, all of the muscles in his bare chest were perfectly lit to show off their depth and perfection.

A pang of doubt and worry drew Cloud's thoughts away from the vision seated next to him, and he turned his attention to the worry gnawing at his chest. It wasn't that he'd forgotten why he was here. He was trying not to think too hard about it. After all, there was nothing he could do for any of the others he'd come with. He could barely do Sephiroth any good. There was absolutely nothing in his power that could help Tifa or Zack, whatever had happened to them.

His mind was filling up with what-ifs the longer he stayed seated in one place. What if the bridge hadn't broken? What if he'd been paying less attention to the sway of Sephiroth's hair in the mountain wind, and more to the unusual creaking noises from below their feet? What if Zack hadn't been flirting so loudly and openly with Tifa?

What if Sephiroth hadn't caught him as he fell—if the bottom of the gorge hadn't collapsed and sent them tumbling into this cave—if Sephiroth hadn't noticed the young dragon in time to cast his partial shield spell? And what if he hadn't been so pathetic, and had gotten out of the way without Sephiroth having to stand his ground with nothing but a weak shield spell between him and the blinding dragon-fire?

All of that from a moment of bad luck. They had almost made it to the reactor, too. They were so close to reaching their goal when the bridge broke. He would have finally been able to get out of his hometown—for good this time.

“I hope Zack and Tifa are okay,” Cloud whispered aloud, trying to take his mind off the guilt slowly weighing him down.

“They are fine,” Sephiroth said with an easy shrug.

“No offense, sir,” Cloud said softly, drawing his knees up to his chest, “But how can you possibly know that?”

“I know Zack,” Sephiroth answered easily, offering no further explanation than that.

“Yeah,” Cloud murmured after a moment. “He is a first-class Soldier, I guess. But if that dragon could hurt you...”

Sephiroth tilted his head towards Cloud slowly at the words, quirking an eyebrow ever so slightly. Cloud blushed, feeling the anxiety that always accompanied his nervous stutter rise. His heartbeat sped up and his face heated. Sephiroth sat at his side, waiting patiently for something to be added, and Cloud had no idea what he ought to say. Had he offended Sephiroth by talking about a first class like that? Was the general waiting for an apology? Or was he just waiting for Cloud to finish his sentence?

“He does act with less decorum than most,” Sephiroth commented at last, his voice cutting through Cloud's panic. “I can see how one would forget his rank.”

“He doesn't allow me to call him 'sir,'” Cloud agreed quickly, “And I don't know any other Soldiers who hang out with cadets. Much less first-class Soldiers who do...”

“He does not 'hang out' with cadets, Strife,” Sephiroth corrected calmly.

“But,” Cloud said after a moment of silence. “He's always spending time with me.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth agreed, casting Cloud an odd glance, “He spends time with you. Not merely any cadet.”

When the words struck home, Cloud could have sworn his heart skipped a beat.. He stared wide-eyed out into the dark cave, not actually seeing anything.

“Do...Do you know why?” Cloud asked after a long moment.

“He wants to be your mentor through the Soldier program,” Sephiroth answered easily. “And he likes you.”

“Oh,” Cloud whispered, lifting a hand to rest over his heartbeat.

There was silence for a moment. Then Sephiroth inhaled again, slowly and thoughtfully, as though preparing to say something very important. Cloud braced himself.

“I like you too,” Sephiroth stated with a quiet, calm certainty.

Cloud's world narrowed to tunnel vision. He felt dizzy, and just a little sick. It took him a moment to realize that the soft, squeaky sound filtering into the air was coming from him.

“Strife,” Sephiroth's voice sounded very far away. “Breathe in. You will pass out if you continue.”

“Sorry, sir,” Cloud rasped.

“No apologies necessary,” his general replied with a slow shake of his head. “It is perfectly acceptable for you to refuse my attentions. It is a significant breach in protocol, after all.”

“Wh—What?” Cloud stuttered before his mind caught up. “No, sir! That's not what I meant! I was just—I mean—I was forgetting to breathe and you had to—wait, your attentions?”

Sephiroth was waiting patiently at his side, watching him through the dark. Cloud could see his eyes glowing. He would have suspected that the man was regaining his sight without saying anything if it hadn't been for the way his eyes were fixed just behind Cloud instead of directly upon him.

“My attentions, yes. I find you... Appealing. Both in physical form and personality. I can count on one hand the number of people who, upon seeing me injured, would instantly jump to my aid.”

“I know it was dumb,” Cloud said softly.

“Perhaps,” Sephiroth nodded in agreement as he spoke. “But it was also appreciated. As I said, very few would. At the moment, I believe you and Zachary are the only ones. Though there were once others.”

The look on Sephiroth's face turned ever so slightly pensive, and Cloud couldn't help but reach out. He touched Sephiroth's hand. It was just a brush of his fingertips against the gloves Sephiroth was still wearing, even though he was shirtless. It took extraordinary effort for Cloud to keep from hyperventilating again when Sephiroth's hand turned to grip his gently. The general's fingers were so long, and his palm so wide. Cloud swallowed hard and tried to keep his mind from going very inappropriate places.

And then Sephiroth was kissing him with uncanny aim and his mind short-circuited. Fortunately, his lips were happy to go on auto-pilot and kiss Sephiroth back. When the two of them parted from the touch, it was softly. 'Gentle' had never been a word Cloud associated with his general, but it seemed to be becoming more and more appropriate.

“Sir,” Cloud whispered quietly into the shadow of the kiss. “It's against regulations. I could be court marshalled. You could be court marshalled.”

“If you can find someone in Shinra with enough spine to try and any incentive to do so, then I am the great god Odin.” Sephiroth commented mildly, his fingers tracing idly over Cloud's hand, which he was still holding.

“People will say I'm trying to sleep my way into Soldier,” Cloud tried again, though he was working harder to talk sense into himself than Sephiroth.

“And will what they say alter reality?” The question was softly spoken, but held just a hint of warning.

“No,” Cloud agreed softly. “But it will make me very unhappy, sir. I've worked hard for this. I want to keep working hard for this...”

At that, Sephiroth paused and frowned. Though it was a reaction to Cloud's argument against them being together, having his concern taken seriously filled Cloud with the certainty that he wanted this. It meant more than any words could say that his feelings meant something to the Sephiroth.

“Then it will have to remain a secret.” Sephiroth declared quietly. “Until you are of an equal rank or I leave Shinra myself.”  
“Leave Shinra?”

“Let us not discuss it now. There are more important things to be spoken of,” Sephiroth murmured, leaning forward to whisper the words straight into his ear. “While we are telling the truth, did you or did you not get burned?”

“I--” Cloud hesitated, shifting a little. The discomfort he'd been trying to hide flared at the reminder of its existence.

“Strife?”

“We just kissed,” Cloud whispered, trying to change the subject quietly, forcing his hand not to curl around himself defensively. “Can't you call me Cloud?”

“Cloud,” Sephiroth said, his voice caressing the name in ways the blonde had never heard his name said before. “Don't dodge my question.”

“It's just a little burn, sir,” Cloud whispered after a long moment.

“There is no such thing,” Sephiroth replied, shifting to run his hand up Cloud's arm to close gently around his shoulder. “I do not carry a cure. We shall have to get you to medical help. Can you continue walking a while?”

“Yes, sir,” Cloud replied instantly, shifting to stand.

The hand on his shoulder restrained him easily, and Cloud looked up to Sephiroth in confusion. The man was frowning just a little, as though considering something.

“When we are alone,” the silver general finally declared, “you may call me Sephiroth.”

“We're almost never alone together, sir,” Cloud murmured, gazing at him with rapt attention.

“Then I shall find a way to rectify that situation.” Sephiroth replied, rising slowly to his feet and extending his hand to Cloud.

Cloud took the hand without thought and stood up. For a moment, the two of them stood face to face, still holding on to one another. It was hard to say what it was exactly, Cloud thought, but he could almost feel the connection between them. Not just their held hands, but something much deeper. And though he wasn't sure what exactly it was, he knew without a doubt that Sephiroth felt it too.

Even though his burns ached, and his general was hurt, and the cave as damp and dark, Cloud felt like he was floating on air as he started walking again, searching for the exit. Though he was eager to find Zack and Tifa and be certain they were alright, he hoped it would take just a little while. Even with the burns aching under his roasted shirt, he wanted to keep holding his general's hand as long as he could.

* * *

 

Genesis gave up waiting for Sephiroth after two days of silence and loneliness in the Nibelheim reactor. When he realized the man wasn't coming, he let his rage boil over, throwing flames, burning the monsters that had once been men—Burning the truth Sephiroth had not come to face.

As he flew down from the mountaintop, he heard the building explode behind him. He did not turn to enjoy the flames as he once would have. Instead, he stared down at the Banora White in his hand, which was possibly the last of its kind. Within a few days, it would wither away. Not as fast as he had, but quickly enough. He let it fall from his fingers, and watched it vanish into the sparse forest far below him.

He landed in the little town on the edge of the forest and strode through it swiftly. He didn't bother putting his wing away. People scattered before him as he walked, running inside their little houses and locking their doors and windows tight. They would never know how much his whole body ached—how utterly betrayed and alone he was. The one-winged monster was all they would ever know of him. As it should be.

He was almost out of town when he saw the newspaper lying on the ground. Despite the soreness of his knees, he bent to pick it up.

There was Sephiroth, front and center, as usual. But instead of himself and Angeal at his sides, there was the wild haired puppy, caught by the photographer in the middle of tackling Sephiroth and the blonde cadet beside him in an enthusiastic hug.

Anger boiled, and he clenched his fists, ripping the paper. It was from two days ago, when Sephiroth should have been at the reactor. Should have been learning the truth, and lending his genetic stability to Genesis. He spread his wing briskly, ignoring the pain that shot through him at the movement. He lifted off in one sharp flap, and started flying, heading back towards the shrine of his goddess.

Deep inside of himself, the piece of Genesis that was still sane and stable relaxed, just a little. It would be easier to fade away and be devoured by madness and corrosion knowing that Sephiroth was not alone. He had worried about his unstable friend after Angeal came to join him, and worried more when Angeal died.

He had been hoping that Sephiroth would join them eventually. He wasn't surprised that the silver general hadn't, though. He knew very well that Sephiroth had been abused by the company his whole life, and he was also well aware that if abuse was all a person knew, they were very unlikely to ever leave it behind.

He knew that he himself could no longer help Sephiroth. That time had passed, even if he did survive the degradation. He could only hope that Sephiroth's new friends would have better luck saving him than he himself and Angeal had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Sephiroth enter a new phase of their lives back at the Shinra compound. Not everything goes as easily as they would hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the support thus far! I hope you all enjoy the continuation of this story!

Chapter 2

 

Cloud's life changed after he returned from Nibelheim. It seemed that by the time he got out of medical with a clean bill of health, the entire building knew that he had helped Sephiroth in the caves. He should have been pleased by the sudden onslaught of positive attention, but he was too busy being relieved by the fact that there was absolutely no talk of kissing.

It was only three days later that an official notice was sent to him stating that his previously-rejected application to Soldier was being re-evaluated. He let his fellow troopers whoop and holler in excitement, buying him drinks and celebrating for him, but he stayed slightly distant from their excitement. He knew these people. Before his name started being used next to Sephiroth's, they'd looked right through him.

He wished Zack was still there, and not investigating the ruins of the Midgar Reactor, which had mysteriously exploded the day before Cloud was released from medical leave. He wasn't sure exactly what the letter meant. He wasn't even sure why he'd been rejected the first time. He had worked harder than anyone—studied more fiercely—even Zack had been bewildered by how hard Cloud was working, commenting, mildly, that Cloud was practically a shoo-in as far as he was concerned. His rowdy friend had been as bewildered as Cloud himself at the rejection letter, and had seemed almost as hurt. Cloud couldn't wait to show him the new one. He looked forward to his friend's return that evening. Maybe seeing Zack excited about it would help him to solidify his own feelings.

He was happy, sure. Soldier was his dream. It always had been. But there was a strange, slightly painful backdrop to the emotion. Something that whispered in his ear that he hadn't earned it—that somehow Sephiroth had made this happen, despite his promise. And the thought of Sephiroth raised all sorts of strange, confusion emotions. He hadn't seen him since returning. Not even while he was in medical, trying to shake the lingering symptoms of the dragon's burn. He understood, of course. Sephiroth was the general, and had himself been hurt. Though by the time they returned to Shinra, Sephiroth had insisted mildly that his eyes were fine even as he and Cloud stepped out of the transport. There was no talk around the building of any lingering symptoms from the dragon's fire in his eyes, but Cloud couldn't shake his worry. No talk was almost as bad as full blown rumors.

And then, out of the blue, he woke up in the barracks one morning to a letter welcoming him to the official Soldier trainee program. He didn't show it to any other trainees. He tucked it into the pocket of his uniform, and silently reported to the office where he was told in the letter to go. The secretaries smiled warmly at him, handed him packets of information, and congratulated him warmly. His things, he was told, would be relocated to his new room by the time he was done with General Sephiroth.

Cloud froze, staring at the woman he'd been talking to in open shock. She gave him a warm smile and patted his shoulder lightly.

“He likes to meet candidates in person,” she said mildly. “You'll be meeting him down in the VR training rooms. And don't worry! Almost everyone comes back in one piece.”

“Almost?” Cloud squeaked in confusion, intimidated by Sephiroth even as he was thrilled to hear he'd be seeing him.

“Just once,” the woman sighed, shaking her head. “That poor boy... You'd best get moving, he'll be down there in fifteen minutes. You'll want to be early.”

Cloud ran out the door, forgetting his information packets in his haste. He thought he heard a titter of laughter behind him, but he didn't care. He wasn't afraid of Sephiroth hurting him. But he couldn't wait to see the man—couldn't wait to find out if he'd been _right_ or not, about what he meant to Sephiroth—about whether or not Nibelheim had really changed everything, like he thought it had. By the time he reached the room, he was five minutes early and out of breath. A pair of First Class Soldiers were leaving the next VR room in the line, and cast him a look that could have been taken as pity, apparently realizing what a trooper like him was there for.

Cloud tried to catch his breath, turning to look at the VR room doors, filled with excitement and anxiety. Was he just in this program for moments like this? So that Sephiroth could call him down to the VR rooms to meet up with him?

If he was only there for Sephiroth's whims, would he really mind?

His thoughts and anxieties were abruptly interrupted by the rush of air as the VR room doors opened.

Inside stood Sephiroth, his hair whipping around him as though the breath of air from inside had been much stronger than it had felt to Cloud. Behind him, the hologram conjured by the room was just fading. Cloud saw, just for a moment, the false body of a dragon dissolving back into simple programming. It appeared to be in several pieces. Cloud shuddered quietly.

“Right on time,” Sephiroth said lowly.

His voice was cold and distant. This was not the man who Cloud had helped through the underground network of Nibelheim. This was his general and commander. Under the gaze of his perfect and inhuman eyes, Cloud felt himself starting to shrink, and clamped down on the impulse.

“Sir,” he barked, snapping to attention. He did not salute. Saluting inside was considered a serious faux pas in Shinra. The only one still stupid enough to do it was the president of the company.

“Enter,” Sephiroth said briskly, stepping back from the doors and moving inside. Cloud watched the movement of his hair and the flicker of his long coat behind his legs as he strode into the now-blank VR room with great purpose.

Cloud followed, stepping into the room that no mere trooper was ever allowed to enter. It was certainly big. The space was a huge and completely unadorned box. Cloud had to admit to a quiet sense of disappointment. But the visual he'd witnessed at first—the dying dragon—that had been something to write home about. If he were the kind of person to write home. If he had a home worth writing to.

“What location do you prefer?” Sephiroth asked blankly, taking up a place across the room from Cloud.

Cloud froze, realizing all at once that they were not just here to talk. He watched Sephiroth roll his shoulders beneath his pauldrons, and a chill worked its way through him. Was he about to _fight_ with _Sephiroth?_

“I don't—don't have a preference, sir,” Cloud choked.

“Computer,” Sephiroth said sharply and swiftly without pausing for a moment. “Location: Wutaian Fortress.”

Cloud gasped as the ground beneath his feet changed all at once. He backed up, looking around as the huge room transformed itself around them, taking on the appearance of a huge Wutaian structure, that looked more to Cloud like a storybook palace than a fortress. He gaped as the world around them opened up, and a faint wind started up around them. It even smelled like grass. He looked back to Sephiroth, dumbfounded.

“Come, cadet,” Sephiroth said darkly. There was something about the way he said the words that sent an entirely inappropriate shiver through Cloud. “Do not fear running into the walls. They will move to accommodate us, as will the floor. You could walk through the landscapes for days and never run into a wall unless you were to shut the program down.”

“Sir,” Cloud took a breath, shaking his head. “What am I here to do?”

“You are here to prove your worth,” Sephiroth replied darkly. “Now come. Show me what you can do.”

Cloud's eyes widened. He threw his shoulders back, watching Sephiroth sink into a fighting stance. He took a shaking breath. Not exactly what he had hoped when he heard that he'd be spending time alone with Sephiroth. Silently, he berated himself for ever doubting that. What exactly did he think of the general, that he was so shallow he'd allow him to join Soldier just for his own gain? Cloud narrowed his eyes at himself, and sank into a fighting stance of his own. If Sephiroth wanted proof that he belonged in the Soldier program, then Cloud would do his absolute best to prove it.

What followed was less of a fight than a pointless game of tag. Cloud couldn't get close enough to Sephiroth to touch him. When he did catch up, it was only because Sephiroth had stopped to wait for him with a maddeningly indulgent look. Cloud could barely keep his eyes on the man, and he still got the distinct feeling that Sephiroth was holding back his speed for him. When they matched fist to fist, every one of Cloud's strikes was dodged or blocked. Cloud tried his best not to miss on purpose, but being blocked by Sephiroth HURT. The man's blocks were practically strikes themselves, and Cloud could feel vivid bruises appearing on his forearms from the blocks, all of which managed to connect on exactly the same piece of his arm every single time.

But Cloud kept coming. He wasn't going to stop. Air burned in his lungs, and the original location had been left far behind as he chased Sephiroth over the impossible landscape. Sephiroth had been correct. They never ran into a wall. He continued to chase, aware that Sephiroth was intentionally wearing him down. What was the point of this exercise, he wondered as he sprinted to try and catch up to a particularly long jump backwards from Sephiroth. Was it to humiliate candidates? Make them aware of how far they had to go? Or did most candidates manage to catch up, and it was just Cloud who couldn't contend on Sephiroth's level?

He could feel his body giving out. He had no way to know how much time had passed. He would have guessed an hour at least. Sephiroth had yet to break a sweat. His eyes were still calm and level. But he didn't seem to be looking at Cloud. He gazed straight ahead, fixedly, no matter where Cloud himself stood. That was both strange and a little insulting, Cloud thought with a scowl. He wasn't _that_ weak. Even if he must have seemed to move as slowly as a snail to the enhanced Soldier, the least Sephiroth could do would be pay attention.

Cloud gathered himself, struggling to catch his breath. He wanted to prove himself to Sephiroth, but with every passing minute it grew less likely that he would be able to. Cloud launched himself forward, and felt his foot slip. He managed not to fall flat on his face, but he went to one knee, panting hard and struggling to rise.

Sephiroth paused, tilting his head with interest. Cloud grit his teeth. The man _still_ wasn't meeting his eyes. He struggled to his feet and squared his shoulders, preparing to run at him once more.

Then a loud grinding sound filled the air, and the world went dark as though the sun had been extinguished. Cloud jolted, looking around him. Red lights switched on abruptly, illuminating the electronic walls of the empty room he had first entered. The landscape of Wutai was gone.

“Half an hour late,” Sephiroth muttered with faint annoyance in his voice.

“What?” Asked Cloud in alarm, his voice coming out breathless.

Sephiroth turned towards him and walked forward swiftly. Cloud sank into his fighting stance, lifting his fists. Sephiroth paused, tilting his head.

“Cloud,” He said smoothly and calmly. “The power in the VR room is out. Meaning that the cameras are out. Besides, we are already well past the half-hour exhaustion test that most candidates go through.”

“What?” Cloud stammered again.

“Put your fists down,” Sephiroth simplified. “I am not your general right now.”

Cloud put down his fists, and Sephiroth closed the distance between them. His long fingers slid over Cloud's cheek, and within the space of a single heartbeat, the General was kissing Cloud breathless. Cloud gripped his shoulders tightly, frustration forgotten in the wake of this sudden and very welcome change in conversation. His mind whirred, thinking over the security cameras, his insistence on secrecy, and Sephiroth's attempts to draw out their time rather than exhausting him all at once like he very well could have. He let a small smile touch his lips as Sephiroth kissed him, and slid his hands back into the long silver hair that he suddenly had access to.

“Sir,” Cloud whispered against his lips when Sephiroth pulled back for a moment, “did you break the VR room to get some alone time with me?”

“Don't be foolish,” Sephiroth muttered, lowering his head to kiss the junction of Cloud's neck and shoulder, where muscles were trembling from his exertion.

“Oh,” Cloud whispered, almost disappointed by the answer.

“I hired a Turk to do it for me,” Sephiroth finished, pulling back to look down at Cloud, his face lit lightly by the red emergency lighting. “Much less conspicuous.”

Cloud renewed their kiss with new passion, eliciting a soft chuckle from his partner. Sephiroth's hands snaked around him, pressing Cloud's body closer to the Silver General's. Cloud could feel sculpted muscles, and the buckles of the trademark jacket digging lightly into his torso. He didn't mind in the slightest. When Sephiroth licked lightly over his lips, requesting entry, Cloud opened his mouth to the General without thought.

He pulled back after a long, breathless moment, his body raging with the intensity of their interaction. The exhaustion of the fight was completely forgotten in the wake of his exhilaration in that moment. Sephiroth gave a little smile. But there was still something off with his eyes, Cloud realized. Sephiroth still wasn't quite looking at him. Towards him, yes, but there was no focus in his gaze. From a distance, it had seemed like inattention. But from up close...

“Sir--”

“Call me Sephiroth, Cloud.”

“Sephiroth,” Cloud corrected himself. “Are you still blind?”

There was a long moment of silence between them. Cloud watched the faint scowl on Sephiroth's lips deepen, and started to feel worry rise. He tightened his grip on the general. If he'd offended the man, he didn't want him to leave before he could apologize.

“Not entirely,” Sephiroth finally replied.

Cloud felt the ground drop out from under him. He tightened his grip on the cross straps of Sephiroth's jacket, in a strange mixture of protectiveness and fear.

“How have you been--”

“Eyesight is somewhat over rated,” Sephiroth commented with a shrug. “My other senses are more than adept enough for me to function, now that I have grown accustomed. And as I said, I am no longer entirely blind. I have begun to distinguish light from dark. It is a step.”

“But sir--”

“Sephiroth,” The general corrected again, glancing down at him with a raised eyebrow. “We are _still_ in private.”

Cloud leaned lightly against his chest, the skin cool and smooth under his cheek. He couldn't even bring himself to be embarrassed over his slip. He was filled with a cold fear.

Sephiroth lifted a hand, brushing it over the tips of Cloud's hair once, as though testing their feel, then settled his hand on Cloud's head.

“There is nothing to be upset over,” he commented mildly.

“What if they send you on a mission?” Cloud whispered into his sternum.

“Then I will send Zack in my stead. I have done it often enough before. Though in training with him this morning after his return I found the battle relatively easy to follow.” Sephiroth replied with a shrug.

“You were training?” Cloud hissed, eyes narrowing. “Knowing you could get hurt?”

“Cloud,” Sephiroth sighed.

“And what if you can't send Zack in?” Cloud snapped, startled by the anger that rose in him. “What if he's not here, or he's hurt?”

“Then we shall find out whether I can fight monsters as easily without seeing them. It would be an interesting experience.”

“An interesting--” Cloud spluttered, then released his grip on Sephiroth to punch his chest. “We're talking about your safety—your _life!_ ”

Sephiroth stared blankly down at him, his face cast in the maddeningly neutral expression that could have meant anything. Cloud clenched his fists, glaring at the man he was facing despite the fact that Sephiroth could not see the look.

“No one can know, Cloud,” The General said at long last, his voice unnervingly low and serious.

“Why not,” Cloud demanded. “What's more important than you staying safe?”

“There are many things,” Sephiroth said lowly. “If the higher ups in this company were to discover my,” he paused, considering his words, “situation, the danger I would be in would far outweigh that of any simple monster attack, Cloud.”

“What?” Cloud whispered, staring up into Sephiroth's very serious face with a quiet horror.

“Shinra is not all heroes, Cloud,” Sephiroth warned, his voice low and dark. “As I know you yourself will discover in time. Zachary would tell you the same.”

“But who would—who would DARE to hurt you?” Cloud asked, reaching out again to rest his hand against Sephiroth's shoulder. “Who in Shinra would want to?”

“The more you know, the more danger you will be in,” Sephiroth replied. “So I will tell you no more.”

The man lifted his head abruptly, looking to the VR room doors. Cloud twisted to look, but froze as Sephiroth's hand landed lightly on his cheek, sliding down to cup his chin. Cloud let out a soft sigh of breath as Sephiroth kissed his brow, then his cheek, and finally his lips.

“I trust you,” Sephiroth whispered into their kiss. “To keep me safe.”

Before Cloud could reply, Sephiroth stepped away from him, and the VR room doors slid open, admitting a host of worried technicians.

“What took you?” Sephiroth asked coldly.

“I am so sorry, General,” The man Cloud could only assume was in charge said. “This has never happened before.”

“Then ensure that it does not again,” Sephiroth ordered. “Strife, we shall delay your training for the day. Report to Commander Fair. He should have been released from his debriefing by now.”

“Yes sir,” Cloud barked, quietly startled that he managed to make his voice catch properly. He'd been half expecting to wheeze the words of surprise.

And then Sephiroth was gone again, striding swiftly out of Cloud's life until he sauntered back in, whenever he so chose. Cloud let out a slow breath as the workers swarmed inside to look the place over. After a moment, Cloud realized he was attracting a great deal of interest from those around him by standing in the middle of the room, staring out the door.

“You alright?” one of the workers asked.

“Fine,” Cloud answered briskly. “He's just... Intimidating.”

That rose a chorus of understanding chuckles from the Technicians, and Cloud let out a breath, casting the man who'd asked if he was alright a brief smile as he escaped the room.

By the time Cloud caught up to Zack, the enthusiastic First Class already knew all about the malfunction.

“They say you were stuck in that VR room for, like, half an hour,” Zack said fondly, catching Cloud up in a tight hug. “You didn't panic, did you?”

“Why would I panic?” Cloud groused, trying to wiggle his way out of Zack's arms.

“Uh, I don't know, because you were stuck in a training room with The Silver General?” Zack teased, finally releasing Cloud. “Guess you're not so easy to shake after Nibelheim, huh?”

Cloud didn't reply. He was staring in silent horror at the very long silver hair on Zack's uniform. He was very certain it hadn't been there a moment ago. It must have gotten transferred when Zack hugged him. He didn't let himself feel the thrill of excitement that ran through him at the thought of Sephiroth close enough to leave hairs. If Zack realized—if he found out—Cloud doubted the so-called 'Puppy' would be able to help but blab to the whole compound. He tried to kickstart his brain.

“How'd you know about it already anyhow?” Cloud asked dryly, trying to force himself to sound normal.

“Well, I know he was gunna give you a lesson today. He told me while we were sparring.”

“Was it hand to hand sparring or armed today?” Cloud asked, sensing a glimmer of hope.

“Some of both,” Zack replied with a shrug. “Why?”

“I just wanted to make sure Aerith didn't have reason to get jealous before I warned you about the hair on your shirt,” Cloud replied with a breathless laugh that had nothing to do with Zack's fidelity, but was still an honest expression of relief.

Zack grinned hugely when he looked down and saw the hair. Then he threw his shoulders back and beamed with pride.

“I'm not taking it off,” He proclaimed. “Managing to get close enough to General Sephiroth to end up with one of his hairs is an honor!”

Cloud gave a wan smile and shook his head. He knew better than that. Zack was getting closer to Sephiroth's level with each passing day. Some people around the compound called him 'the new Angeal.' Cloud always pretended he hadn't heard. Repeating those words would have caused Zack nothing but more heartbreak. Cloud had been there the night Zack called himself Angeal's legacy and broke into tears.

“Hey, Cloudy,” Zack said after a moment. “You know what's weird?”

Cloud made a soft sound of question, watching Zack's sky-blue eyes gaze up at the ceiling.

“I've been using those VR rooms for years, and they've never locked down. Not even when the trinity used to tear them up during sparring.”

“Weird,” Cloud commented dryly.

“Yup,” Zack said mildly, clapping a hand on Cloud's shoulder firmly. “Of course, I'm _sure_ it was just a malfunction. I mean, it's either that or you and Sephiroth just LOVE getting stuck together in dark enclosed spaces, right?”

Zack shoved Cloud fondly and wandered off, giving a jaunty wave. Cloud stood dumbfounded and wondered with a sickening dread if he had underestimated the puppy. He moved through the rest of his day in a trance—packing his things in the barrack up and passing them off to the Shinra workers setting up his new room—finding his way to the Soldier's mess, where the official candidates were invited to dine while decisions were being made about their futures.

It wasn't until that night in the new and SOLDIER-filled mess hall, when Zack plopped himself down right next to Cloud, laughing and joking with the other Soldier candidates, easing Cloud's awkward introduction to them, that Cloud realized he _had_ underestimated Zack. Just not in the way he'd thought. The rowdy first was entertaining the table easily, and not one word did he breathe about Sephiroth and Cloud. He even neatly steered conversation around the Nibelheim caves and the VR room crash, redirecting to tell tall tales of his missions with the silver general. And the next thing Cloud knew, Zack was talking about his missions with _him_. With every word of praise Zack spoke, the eyes of Cloud's new peers grew more open and impressed, losing the hostile suspicion they had held before.

Cloud smiled and shrugged bashfully when he was addressed, but guilt warmed his cheeks and made his gut twist. He should have trusted Zack, and believed in his ability to keep a secret. After all, of everyone Cloud knew, Zack had experienced the most crushing lost in the past year, and yet he was still all laughs and smiles in public. The turks were probably jealous by now that he'd gotten into Soldier before they saw his acting talent.

Once dinner was over, Zack slung an arm around Cloud's shoulders and led him further upstairs than Cloud had been before, teaching him how to operate the higher-floor elevators, which somehow managed to be almost maze-like, despite only going up and down.

Cloud pulled him inside his new apartment the moment Zack handed him the key card.

“I don't know what to do,” he blurted abruptly. “I'm not even sure if he likes me.”

“He likes you,” Zack said mildly, ruffling Cloud's hair. “I mean, I'm the one who requested you for the Nibelheim mission, but I saw him smile when he looked at the request. He definitely likes you.”

“I never even see him except--”

“Except when he's hiring my turk buddies to shut the VR room down on you two?” Zack questioned with a grin. “Relax, Cloud. You'll see more of him once you're officially my apprentice.”

Cloud gaped at him. He felt tears rising in his eyes as the words sunk in. He was deeply, sickeningly grateful when Zack pulled him into a hug. It gave him the chance to hide his tears against his friend's shirt.

“You're gunna be great, Spike,” Zack whispered, running a hand through his hair. “And I'm gunna make sure of that.”

For Cloud, it was as though he suddenly could feel again. All of the days of silence, and non-feeling crashed down around him. All the excitement of being reconsidered for Soldier, and the joy of being noticed and wanted by Sephiroth, and the confusion brought on by that same want. And above and beyond it all, the glee of having Zack there with him—to ruffle his hair while he cried without complaining about his weakness or thinking less of him.

“You'll see, Spike. It'll all work out.” Zack muttered above him.

Cloud closed his eyes, pressed against Zack's chest, and thought of being pressed against Sephiroth's only hours ago. He really really hoped Zack was right. Because if he was, all of his dreams—all of them—were about to start coming true at last. So long as Sephiroth could keep himself from getting killed while his eyes healed, and Cloud himself could make it in Soldier.


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud found himself quickly immersed in an exciting, bewildering world made up of Soldier-candidate training, unusual companionship, and stolen moments.

During the days, he exhausted himself in training. The workouts were so grueling that he took to waiting until after they were done to eat so he wouldn't throw up as much. Still, he was amazed to find that though the exercises didn't get any easier, he was far from the least athletic person there. The knowledge didn't always help his self-worth issues. He still often left practice disheartened and unsure.

“Maybe I'm not cut out for this,” he muttered to his long-time friend and new mentor.

“No one's cut out for this, Spike,' Zack laughed. “That's what the mako's for!”

Extra lessons with Zack were almost as bad as the required morning workouts. In some ways, they were worse. Most First Class Soldiers couldn't keep up with Zack Fair. Attempting to keep up with him at Cloud's level was an exercise in futility. It would have been unbearable if it had been anyone but Zack.

As it was, Cloud found it exhausting, painful, and yet strangely fun. He'd always found Zack's good spirits infectious, and when he earned his friend's praise, the soaring feeling it gave him was almost euphoric.

And then there was Sephiroth.

Most days, Cloud was lucky to catch a glimpse of the General. Sometimes he would appear without warning at their morning training sessions, but it was never as the man Cloud had kissed in the VR room. It was always in his role as The General. Cloud tried not to focus too hard on trying to figure out if the distance in Sephiroth's gaze was an intentional expression of mild disinterest, or a result of his eyes still not functioning.

It always seemed to happen that just as Cloud began to question whether Sephiroth was really interested in him, the General would order him to deliver some paperwork to his office. The other trainees teasingly pitied him for being pegged as the errand boy. Cloud hoped that they all interpreted his flush as embarrassment at their teasing instead of recognizing it for what it was, like Zack did.

He still hadn't really had a chance to talk things over with Sephiroth. It was hard to talk while devouring his partner's lips in a kiss. Cloud would have speeches worked out for his boyfriend ('is that the right word' he would ask himself) about how he needed him to be open—to know whether he was getting better or not—to be on the same page.

Those speeches never made it out of his mouth. The moment he laid eyes on Sephiroth, all thoughts of planning left his head instantly. He couldn't blame himself. There was something about having Sephiroth pay attention to you. If Sephiroth paid attention to you, you paid attention back. What Cloud saw on Sephiroth's face when he looked was an expression as close to happiness or contentment that he ever saw on the man. It was enough to drive all the thoughts straight out of his head, and he had no qualms with that.

He was happy to let Sephiroth kiss the thoughts from him, and hold him close. He knew that in time, when he could, Sephiroth would put them in a position to meet one another properly again. Until then, he was very happy to kiss, be kissed, and allow the General to carefully and deeply inhale the scent of his hair, as though he were learning it.

When Cloud left, it was always because someone else knocked on the office door, demanding Sephiroth's attention. Cloud would have been annoyed about it, but the growl of frustration that always escaped Sephiroth was enough to mollify him.

“See you next time,” Cloud would murmur with a final kiss.

“Take your files,” Sephiroth would rumble before releasing him.

The person at the door never bothered sparing Cloud so much as a glance as they exchanged places. Cloud often heard raised voices in the office behind him before he was even a few steps away. He never had the guts to eavesdrop on the conversations, but he always wondered.

It wasn't a perfect existence, but it was the closest Cloud had come in his life so far. When it changed, it changed quickly. It changed irrevocably. And unlike in all of his nightmares, it wasn't because Cloud let anyone down.

“Strife!” The instructor barked in the middle of morning drills.

Cloud almost fell head-first out of the handstand he was holding. He managed to coax himself down more gently than thought, though not gracefully.

“S-sir?” He panted, standing to attention as the man approached him swiftly.

“There's a call from Commander Fair on the line for you,” The man said briskly and gruffly, scowling. It wasn't bitterness in his expression—all of the higher-ranking Soldiers respected Zack whether they liked him or not.

Cloud took the phone from his instructor in shaking, sweaty hands.

“Drop what you're doing,” Zack said before Cloud could so much as say 'hello.' “Get upstairs to your place now.”

Cloud forgot all manners and protocol. He shoved the phone at his instructor and raced out of the room towards his little apartment. The moment he stepped onto his hallway he knew something was terribly wrong. There were Turks in his hall. Not many of them, and not terribly tense-looking Turks, but anywhere the suited figures were, there was inevitably trouble. If there wasn't any, the Turks usually got bored and caused it themselves.

Cloud didn't think this was one of those occasions. He recognized most of the suited men in the hall. Zack was on reasonably good terms with most of them. At the opening of the hallway he walked through, he passed by a tall bald man and a wily-looking redhead. They eyed him as he walked past, but didn't interfere. At the other end of the hall, Cloud could see a pair of female Turks. Neither of them bothered turning to see who he was.

Outside the door to his apartment stood Tseng. Cloud only knew the man because Zack had insisted on introducing them, claiming with a laugh that it made Tseng less likely to kill trainees if he knew their names. Cloud wasn't entirely sure he had been kidding. The dark-eyed Wutaian unnerved him.

“Sir,” Cloud said after a moment.

“Just Tseng,” the Turk corrected, stepping aside from the doorway. “What are you waiting for, Strife?”

Cloud hesitated, then knocked lightly on the door. He was pretty sure Zack was already inside. He didn't want to barge in on him.

“Did you just knock on your own door?” Zack asked as he jerked the door open abruptly. “Never mind. Get in here. He needs you.”

“Who does?” Cloud asked even as he stepped inside, nervously glancing back at the Turks as he closed the door.

“Sephiroth,” Zack replied, his voice low and grim. “I'm assuming you know he couldn't see.”

Cloud nodded, his heart in his throat. Lying didn't even occur to him. If a mission had gone wrong—if Sephiroth was hurt—Cloud didn't know what he would do.

“The President found out,” Zack murmured with a serious, worried look. “He was really pissed. He sicked Hojo on him.”

“Is he alright?” Cloud rasped anxiously, his mouth going dry. He didn't know any specifics, but he wasn't stupid. He saw the looks on the faces of the higher-ranking soldiers when Hojo was nearby.

“Well, he can see,” Zack said, his voice anxious. “But everything comes with a price with Hojo. A steep price.”

“Where is he?” Cloud hissed with an intensity that surprised even him.

“Your room. I put him to bed. Didn't think you'd mind.”

Cloud spared a moment to grab Zack in a brief hug. His friend looked like he needed it. He didn't linger long. Not with the knowledge that Sephiroth was in his room, possibly hurt. He pulled away and moved back towards his room quickly but quietly. He knew Sephiroth didn't like people walking loudly at the best of times, much less if he was at less than his peak physically. The door to his room was open, and even from outside Cloud cold tell something was off. He wasn't sure if it was Zack's anxiety or some actual charge in the air, but everything just seemed to feel wrong in the room. He stepped inside carefully, his eyes instantly drawn to the bed.

Sephiroth was sitting against the headboard. His eyes slid over to Cloud the moment he entered the room, focusing on him with utter attention as they had been unable to since Nibelheim. The gaze was cold. Sephiroth's expression did not warm or soften at seeing him. He was frowning and tense. He appeared to be relaxing, but it only took Cloud a moment to realize that Sephiroth was very much on edge. He looked as though he might bolt out of bed and attack at any moment.

“Sir?” Cloud asked softly, walking towards the General. Sephiroth didn't look hurt, but there was definitely something wrong.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth replied. There was an empty place in the air where Cloud knew Sephiroth should have said 'you can call me by name when we are alone.'

Cloud glanced back to Zack, only to receive his patented 'please' look, his hands pressed together and a wide grin on his face. The look was strained. Cloud took a deep breath, and turned back to the room and the man studying him like he was a homework assignment.

“How are you feeling?” Cloud asked quietly.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. Cloud bit his lip, sensing a misstep. He watched Sephiroth think. It was a strange thing, watching him try to decide how to react to people. He always took his time. When he finally seemed to settle on his decision, he inhaled slowly.

“I am unhurt.”

“Good,” Cloud said softly. “I was worried.”

“Worried,” Sephiroth repeated, watching him out of suspicious eyes. “I am your superior officer, Cloud. I do neither need nor appreciate your concern.”

Cloud frowned, eying Sephiroth. That was very wrong. This wasn't their dynamic at all. Sephiroth had never spoken to him with so little inflection or interest. Though it was obvious he could see, his eyes had wandered, staring out the window instead of at Cloud, a faint frown pulling at his lips. Cloud paused in his approach, still worrying at his lip with his teeth, then walked over slowly, sitting on the side of his bed.

“You don't really mean that, do you?” Cloud asked softly, watching Sephiroth carefully, even as the man averted his eyes from him. “That's not what you said in the VR room.”

“Is that so,” Sephiroth said blankly.

“You said you trusted me,” Cloud replied. He reached out as he said it, almost laying his hand over Sephiroth's. He jerked back from the touch nervously, then carefully lay his fingers over the broad swordsman's hand of the General. “And you weren't wrong to. I didn't tell anyone. Not a soul.”

Cat-pupiled green eyes slid over to him from the window. Cloud had to fight not to cringe away from the look. He forced himself still, letting Sephiroth study him closely, as though he was looking into the very heart of him. Very slowly, Sephiroth leaned forward. Cloud bit his lip again, but held still. He closed his eyes as Sephiroth inhaled deeply into his hair, the same way he had when he parted ways with Cloud after every one of their meetings.

“I believe you,” Sephiroth whispered into Cloud's hair at last. “That does not mean nothing has changed.”

“Zack says they hurt you,” Cloud whispered, his hand slowly curling around Sephiroth's. “Please let me help.”

“I am not hurt,” the man replied, his voice low, even as he sat back from their closeness, his eyes sliding over to gaze out the window again.

“You're not acting like yourself,” Cloud replied, squeezing Sephiroth's hand though the man's fingers had not closed over his own in return yet.

“Am I not?” Sephiroth asked dully. “Most can't tell the difference.”

“I'm not most,” Cloud said, his resolve hardening at the almost listless attitude that followed Sephiroth's coldness. “I know something's wrong. I just don't understand why you won't talk to me.”

“It will endanger you,” Sephiroth replied.

“I'm going to be a Soldier,” Cloud said in firm reply. “I'm going to be in danger. If I can help you—if I can protect you in any way, or even just share a burden, I want to do it. I don't want you to protect me if it means you get hurt.”

“Come here,” Sephiroth said after a moment. 

He drew his hand away from Cloud's grip, opening it to his side to leave a space beside him empty for Cloud. The blond cadet didn't even bother taking his shoes off as he slid forward, sitting at Sephiroth's side and pressing carefully closer to him. Sephiroth's ribcage expanded and relaxed as he breathed a slow sigh, and his arm settled over Cloud's shoulder, carefully holding him in place.

“Are you afraid of me?” he rumbled, the two of them close enough that Cloud could feel the words rumbling in Sephiroth's chest as he spoke them.

“You know I'm not,” he replied, leaning his head against Sephiroth's shoulder. 

“You should be. I am not human, Cloud.”

“You look human to me,” the cadet said, his brows twisting. He'd heard whispers before, among the people in Nibelheim. People questioning the humanity of the mako-imbued Soldiers in Shinra's military. He had never thought that the perception would persist here.

“Do I?” Sephiroth asked softly. “How many humans have silver hair? Not to mention my eyes...”

“I like your eyes,” Cloud responded, finding nothing else to say in response.

“I know,” Sephiroth said, still not looking at him, despite how close they were to one another. “Cloud. If I were a monster, what would you do? Would you stop me? Would you keep me from destroying this world?”

“A monster?” Cloud asked, pulling away from Sephiroth's hold to look him in the face. “Who told you that?”

An empty gaze answered his question. Sephiroth looked empty. Like someone had beaten all the spirit out of him. He looked like the cadets Cloud had seen quit the soldier program after finding that they weren't strong enough to keep up. Cloud lifted his hand, carefully placing it on Sephiroth's forehead. It was hard to tell whether he had a fever, or he was just exceptionally warm. Cloud had always thought he was like a furnace.

“I am not sick,” Sephiroth said.

“You're not a monster,” Cloud insisted, trying and failing to initiate eye contact with Sephiroth. “You're not.”

“You have never seen me kill,” Sephiroth replied.

“You're a Soldier,” Cloud said, withdrawing his touch from Sephiroth's brow, his hand resting lightly on his shoulder as he knelt just beside him on the bed. “It's your job.”

“I like it,” Sephiroth said, his brows twisting just a little as he spoke.

Cloud bit his lip, searching for the right thing to say in response to that. It unnerved him to think of Sephiroth killing, of course. Unnerved him to think of anyone enjoying the ugly bloodshed of battle he'd only seen once or twice himself. But this was the man who'd held him close in the caves under Nibelheim—who'd accepted him weakness and all—who honestly seemed to believe that Cloud had what it took to make it in Soldier. Even if he'd only decided that while he was blind.

“You'd never hurt me, though,” Cloud finally replied. “Or Zack. Or any of your Soldiers. You're a good General, sir. You're the best General. I would never blame you for taking pride or joy in your skills. Even... Even if they're violent.”

“And if you are wrong?” Sephiroth asked after a long moment of silence. “If I am a monster. What will you do?”

“I won't leave you,” Cloud said swiftly. “If that's what you're getting at.”

“You'd stay with an inhuman creature?”

“I'd stay with you,” the blond answered, his voice low and serious. “No matter what.”

“Why?” Sephiroth said, his eyes finally tracing over to fix on Cloud's face. “Why would you?”

“Because,” Cloud said softly. “You picked me. You trusted me. You haven't lost interest in me. And even though I'm basically worthless, and weak, and a little spineless, you still like me. I would never leave you. I've loved you since I first saw you, and you keep giving me more reasons. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life with you. I wouldn't leave that if you sprouted fur and bit me.”

Sephiroth didn't chuckle at the words. He just gazed at Cloud, watching him. Cloud bit his bottom lip, tasting blood from worrying at it so much in anxiety over Sephiroth. A long-fingered hand lifted to his mouth, and carefully touched his bottom lip, drawing it gently away from Cloud's teeth.

“Don't,” Sephiroth said softly. “You'll hurt yourself.”

“You believe me, don't you?” Cloud whispered, staring at Sephiroth's empty face. “I wouldn't leave you, Sephiroth. Not for all the gold in Wutai. Not for anything.”

“I believe you,” Sephiroth replied. “And though it is a foolish thing for you to say, I thank you for it.” 

“It's not foolish,” Cloud insisted. “It's true. Sephiroth, please. Let me help.”

“You have started saying my name without prompting,” the General observed softly.

“You're not my General when we're alone,” Cloud whispered, leaning forward to press a light kiss to Sephiroth's lips.

For a long moment, the soft lips beneath his were still. Then Sephiroth shifted, letting out a slow breath through his nose, and returned the gentle contact. When Cloud drew back, he watched Sephiroth's eyes open, no longer cold and distant. He looked tired.

“I hurt,” Sephiroth said softly.

“Where?” Cloud asked, lifting a hand to cup the cheek of the man he loved.

“My heart,” Sephiroth confessed, though it obviously took effort for him to do so. “My eyes.”

“You should rest,” Cloud said softly. “Zack said they were rough on you.”

“They are always rough on me.” Sephiroth sighed, slowly lowering his head to rest it on Cloud's shoulder. It was almost comic, with Cloud so much shorter than he was, even sitting down. Under other circumstances, Cloud might have laughed. As it was, it made his heart hurt too.

“Why haven't you killed them?” he asked softly, carefully stroking his hand over the back of Sephiroth's head.

“They own me,” the man replied. “Shinra owns me. When you're a Soldier, they'll own you too. And I am a terrible person for wanting that to happen, so that I know you won't ever leave.”

“I don't think you're terrible,” Cloud said softly, finding nothing else in that sentence he could stomach looking into. Shinra owned him? Since when? And how? “What can I do to help? Right now?”

“Just stay,” Sephiroth said into Cloud's shirt.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Cloud said in reply.

He glanced back at the doorway, and found Zack standing there, watching them. His friend looked tired, but he sent Cloud a warm smile, and a nod of appreciation and acceptance. Cloud relaxed slowly as Zack slipped away from the door. He loved his friend, but this was a moment just for him and Sephiroth. He didn't want prying ears.

“Sephiroth,” He said softly. “Zack's not here now. Will you tell me the truth?”

“If I can.”

“Are you really alright?” Cloud asked softly. “You're really not hurt?”

Sephiroth hesitated, then sat up slowly off of Cloud. He glanced to the doorway, his eyes tight at the corners. Cloud didn't doubt that they hurt him. The whites of his eyes were reddened and bloodshot, and Cloud could tell by his squint that the light hurt them. He was distracted a moment later when Sephiroth shifted, slowly and deftly removing his jacket and pulling the long sleeve off of his right arm. Cloud looked down at the skin, and couldn't help a shudder.

There was metal embedded in his flesh. Not the sort that came from accidental shrapnel hits. The skin had healed around the metal fragments, leaving them glinting silver, tarnished only by dried blood on their surfaces. He shook his head at the incomprehensible series of letters and numbers of the obviously recent branding.

“What,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

“It is my experiment designation,” Sephiroth replied, carefully sliding his arm back into his jacket. “Hojo wanted to be sure I did not forget what I was created for.”

Cloud lifted his eyes to meet Sephiroth's gaze, his stomach lurching uneasily at the calm, expectant look in Sephiroth's eyes. He knew the man expected him to be sick, or go wild. He bit back the urge to do just that, taking a deep, steadying breath.

“Do you need some pain meds?” He forced himself to ask. It was the only question he could think of that wouldn't make things worse. He could ask Sephiroth how this happened when the man wasn't hurting—when his eyes were done healing—when the wounds in his arm were gone.

“They do not work on me,” Sephiroth replied softly, the very edge of a smile appearing on his lips at Cloud's question. “But thank you.”

“Let me know what I can do,” Cloud said with a quiet intensity. “About any of it.”

“Alright,” Sephiroth said at last.

Cloud nodded and shifted forward, tucking himself against Sephiroth's side again, offering a silent support. Inwardly, his mind whirled through all that he had learned, twisting with unease and fear. He could feel the pit of stress inside him deepen. There was so little he could do. If Sephiroth couldn't get away from the people hurting him, what hope did a useless cadet like Cloud have of helping.

Outside the room, Cloud heard the dim sounds of Zack pulling out his apartment's meager cooking supplies. He didn't object. He knew mako-powered Soldiers like Zack and Sephiroth had to eat a lot to keep their metabolisms satisfied. He was grateful that Zack was taking care of it so that he could stay with Sephiroth.

It wasn't until he glanced almost shyly over at Sephiroth that he realized the tall general had fallen asleep. He was leaned back against the headboard, his eyes closed lightly and his lips parted just a touch, letting out soft breaths of air. Cloud shifted closer, bolstering Sephiroth on one side and shifting a hand to carefully rest over Sephiroth's chest, feeling him inhale and exhale slowly. He started to bite his lip, but stopped himself, remembering Sephiroth's concern. He closed his eyes lightly, not in exhaustion himself, but to remember the look of the metal numbers and letters embedded under Sephiroth's skin.

He would get into Soldier. He would get stronger. And when he was strong enough, he was going to help Sephiroth save himself, no matter what. He had no doubt that he would have Zack on his side as well. Between the three of them, Cloud was absolutely certain that no one would be able to stop them.

He would just have to hurry, and try to make sure that he was strong enough to stop it the next time Hojo or anyone tried to harm his General.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo buddy here we go again... As always, this story is dedicated to and meant for Tomowowo, the goddess of Sefikura! Please check out her tumblr at tomowowowo.tumblr.com or her deviantart under the username bunny-boss! She's the best!

Chapter 4

It was only two weeks after coming home to find Sephiroth injured in his bed that Cloud returned to his apartment to find a note on the door that read 'Living Quarters Reassignment' at the top. He tried to swipe his key card, but someone had already reprogrammed the electric lock. Cloud bit his lip, running a hand through his sweat-crusted hair. He'd really been looking forward to a nice, quiet shower. Setting up a new apartment was not what he had in mind for a pleasant afternoon.

He grabbed the taped paper off the door and headed towards the room it listed, trying not to fiddle with the high-waisted belt he still hadn't gotten used to. The fact that he was a Third-Class Soldier hadn't quite sunken in yet. Though the Mako certainly had. He'd nearly broken his bed getting up that morning when he jumped as the alarm went off. He had left a significant dent in the wall. Maybe that was why they were changing his room assignment...

Cloud reached room 534 without trouble. He hesitated outside, glancing around the hallway. There were not many doors—they must have been big apartments— but every door had two sets of names on it.

Roommates. They'd given him a roommate. He swallowed at the two blank plates where his name and someone else's would go. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad. Maybe it would be one of the guys in training who didn't think like a tank and hate his guts.

Cloud swiped his keycard. The door swung open slowly, showing him a bright, empty apartment. From the doorway he could see big windows with pale curtains that let the light through, and a couch sitting in the living room before them, still covered in shiny plastic. The floors were unblemished wood, and there was a small nightstand in the hallway that led from the door to the room. There was already a keycard sitting on it. His roommate was already here. Cloud took a deep breath. He could do this. He could deal with a roommate. Sure, he'd just gotten used to having some private space again, and this basically killed all his daydreams of sneaking Sephiroth into his room, but he could handle it. He was a Soldier after all. He would not have a panic attack at something as small as a new roommate. He stepped forwards, swinging the door shut behind himself.

"Um," He called, placing his key-card carefully on the table where the other card was resting. "Hello?"

"Cloudy!" Zack dashed around the corner of the living room and scooped him up into a hug. "Did you stay late at training again? I've been setting up for ages!"

"Zack?" Cloud spluttered, pushing back out of the hug and finding it easier to get free of Zack's fond grip than it ever had been before. "What are you doing here? Are you friends with my new roommate?"

"Oh Cloudy," Zack said fondly, reaching out to ruffle Cloud's hair. "You're so dim. I already chose my bedroom, so go pick yours, and we'll make the THIRD bedroom the guest room! This place is awesome!"

"You're—" Cloud started, staring at his friend.

"Trust me," Zack said with a huge grin. "Help me set up. You'll see why I'm a genius later. I'll get us pizza for dinner!"

"You're my roommate?" Cloud wheezed as Zack bounced around the corner again, a delighted laugh floating behind him.

"Come on, student!" Zack called back. "I'm your boss, so you have to help me get everything ready! And figure out how to put my new bed together!"

The evening was hectic. Cloud barely had time to figure out the barest details. Zack had decided that a happy Cloud meant a more successful student. Then he had decided that more Sephiroth time made a happier Cloud. So he had come to the conclusion that Cloud needed to live somewhere where Sephiroth could appear at any moment without anyone being the least bit suspicious.

"And since everyone already knows Seph and I are best friends," Zack said, as though he weren't holding their enormous sofa off the floor in his arms, trying to pick the perfect place to leave it, "I figure he can just pop by here any time and you two can make out while I watch the news or something!"

"Zack!" Cloud complained.

"What? Come on. Surely you guys have made out by now!"

"Knock it off!" Cloud objected. "And put the sofa down! It's fine there!"

He never would have admitted it out loud, but he knew Zack was already aware of how his heart was hammering in excitement and delight. No more stolen moments in the empty hallways. Or, at least, a new option in addition to that. Sephiroth could visit him at home, and no one would even think he was the one being visited.

Zack laughed as he put the sofa down in the middle of their reasonably spacious living room and flopped onto it. He hummed as he settled in the cushions, a smile of delight on his face. Cloud let out a breath, wondering if Zack was finally ready to take a break from setting up the apartment. Then the doorbell went off and the so-called puppy sprang for the door just like his namesake.

"I hope you don't mind." Rumbled a familiar voice from the doorway. "I met the delivery person coming to your room and took care of your pizza's cost."

Cloud lifted his head, abandoning his weary head shaking to jog towards the entry way. He burst into a sunny smile when he saw Sephiroth standing there, his head tilted to one side and a faint smirk on his lips, three pizza boxes balanced in one hand as though he'd been delivering pizza all his life.

"Did you tip the kid?" Zack asked, cocking his head to one side as he stepped out of the doorway.

"She was not a kid." Sephiroth sighed, stepping into the apartment. "She was roughly thirty four at a guess."

"Is that a no?"

"I gave her fifty gil." Sephiroth said with an eyeroll. "Put your righteousness back in your pocket."

"Sephiroth?" Cloud questioned awkwardly, tired of waiting to be acknowledged.

Any annoyance he might have felt vanished when Sephiroth looked over at him and his face shifted. His expression melted into a warm, quiet smile, and his eyes narrowed in pleasure at the sight of him.

"Cloud." He murmured, setting the pizza down in Zack's arms and moving over to him.

Cloud lept gratefully into his arms, squeezing him tightly as Zack laughed where he'd been left, stranded with a trio of pizza boxes precariously balanced in his arms. Sephiroth held Cloud off the ground as though he weighed nothing at all.

"I hope you like your new home." The man whispered into his ear.

"It's perfect." Cloud whispered, clinging as tightly as he could. "It's absolutely perfect."

"Um, guys, I'm all for the hugging and stuff, but does anyone mind if I start in on the pizza?"

Sephiroth gave the softest of chuckles, setting Cloud back on his feet and tossing his head lightly to send his hair back into place. Cloud straightened his uniform and cleared his throat. It had been too long since he'd gotten to squeeze Sephiroth as tightly as he liked. He glanced up at him once more, taking in the calm shine of Sephiroth's eyes. They tracked the world around him with sharp accuracy, and Cloud tried not to worry about how that had come to pass.

"What do you think?" Sephiroth asked, looking down to Cloud.

"I think we can do pizza." Cloud responded with a smile, leaning against Sephiroth.

"Awesome!" Zack cried. "Pizza party! Let's set up in the living room, the dining room chairs haven't shown up yet!"

"Charming." Sephiroth chuckled. He sounded like he meant it.

Cloud hooked his arm through his boyfriend's, following Zack into the living room. He heard Sephiroth's phone chirp, but the man seemed to content to pull it out with his left hand and let Cloud continue holding onto his right.

But when he opened it, he froze in place, so abruptly that Cloud almost wrenched his shoulder on the next step. He looked up at the suddenly frosty look on Sephiroth's face.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked softly.

"I'm sorry." Sephiroth said blankly. "I'm afraid I'll have to join you both for pizza another time."

"What?" Zack asked, turning from where he was setting the pizzas down with a frown. "Come on, Seph, we haven't seen you in ages! What's so important that they're paging you and not me?"

"Business." Sephiroth unwound his arm from Cloud's, bending and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you both."

"Just take care, okay?" Cloud asked softly, standing still where he'd been left, his hand still halfway extended towards Sephiroth.

He'd seen that look on Sephiroth's face before. It reminded him of the pale scars on the man's inner forearm, carving the dim outlines of letters and numbers where Sephiroth had pulled metal implants free of his flesh. He swallowed hard, watching Sephiroth nod his agreement.

"Gods damn it, Sephiroth." Zack said, his good cheer momentarily abandoned. "Would you just tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I will." Sephiroth replied emptily. "Soon."

He turned and left the apartment without another word, leaving Cloud and Zack watching the closed door for a long while after.

"Damn." Zack muttered. "I don't know what goes through that man's mind. Doesn't he know he can say no to that stupid phone sometimes?"

"I'm not sure he can, Zack." Cloud whispered. "I think he would if he could."

"Shit." Zack cursed, the word earnest and sharp.

Cloud jerked in surprise at the harsh word from his usually sweet friend, and looked over at him.

"Are you that mad?" Cloud asked softly.

"Am I mad?" Zack repeated, looking over at him. "He foists half his missions on me, he runs out on the smallest gatherings, he never tells me what's going on, and when I DO get to see him, half the time he's being a hard-ass cold-hearted bastard like something shut him down."

"Zack he—"

"I'm not mad, Spike." The First interrupted. "I am scared as hell."

They stared at each other for a while, then Cloud gave a little nod of understanding and approval.

"So what do we do?" He asked his teacher and new roommate. "Pretend we didn't notice? Hope things get better again?"

Zack shook his head. "I'm not risking it."

Cloud looked up at him and saw that strict, harsh look on his face that he got when he thought of the past. He walked over, putting a hand on Zack's shoulder, giving him a little shake in the hopes of grounding him in reality.

"I'll help." He said firmly. "If we're working together, I'm sure we can get him to fess up about what's going on."

"And get him out of whatever it is." Zack agreed. "I've seen him when he gets back after things like this, smelling like blood and worn to the bone. Whatever's happening to him, I want to stop it."

"Agreed." Cloud said firmly, not mentioning the metal arm pieces, and the soft confessional words. He'd promised, after all. He'd promised not to tell. He hadn't promised not to help Zack find out for himself.

"Pizza first." Zack said after a moment. "It helps me think. Then I'll make some calls."

"What about me?"

"You," Zack pointed, "Are going to eat pizza. Then tomorrow you are going to train harder than ever, because we never know what we're going to need to go up against."

Cloud nodded resolutely, sitting by the pizza boxes. Zack sat next to him, opening one up and tearing into his first piece as though he were taking all his aggression out on the slice. Cloud followed suit, devouring the cheesy goodness with none of the joy it usually brought.

"Cloud."

He lifted his head, looking at the suddenly solemn-again Zack.

"If it comes down to it, which do you care about more. Sephiroth, or your career?"

Cloud hesitated, looking down at his pizza. He licked a spot of sauce off the corner of his lips, thinking of his new life. His strength, his promotion—it was all he'd wanted when he set out from Nibelheim. He was finally someone. People knew his name, and a lot of them didn't hate him anymore, even if they weren't exactly friends.

But his heart ached at the very question, and his gut twisted at the moments it took him to consider it. He shook his head quickly, casting aside the thoughts of responsibility and the contracts he'd signed.

"Sephiroth." He said firmly and softly. "If it comes down to it. And if that was some kind of test and you report me or something…"

"Don't be silly, Spike." Zack said, tilting his head and giving a half smile. "I would have answered the same way."

They ate the rest of their pizza in silence, but Cloud's heartbeat never slowed down again. Somewhere in the building, he was certain Sephiroth was in trouble. And he could do nothing to stop it. Not yet, at any rate.

Cloud yanked on his boot with a sharp pull and tore out of the locker room. He'd gotten caught up thinking about Sephiroth after his training session with Zack, and had lost track of time while he showered. Now he was about to be late to his tactics class, and he'd been trying to get there early to give the teacher a good impression. After all, it was taught by a Second Class Soldier, and Cloud wanted to be the sort of person who was wanted on the team.

He paused when he ran out into the hall to find Zack still there. He was facing a man in a Turk suit—Cloud thought he recognized him as one of the guards at the end of Sephiroth's hall he'd run across that one night, but he wasn't sure. Foxy blue eyes lifted to him, narrowed in what looked like challenge and amusement. Stark red tattoos mirrored their curve over sharp cheekbones. Zack shifted, following the Turk's gaze, and grinned, waving Cloud over.

Cloud hesitated. Turks had 'bad news' written all over them. But if this was one of Zack's friends, he'd be doing his teacher a serious disservice by turning him down. He swallowed, rolled his shoulders back, and walked over to join them.

"Reno, this is Cloud," Zack said, smiling warmly and shifting his stance just a little in a way that changed his discussion from two people to three without any pomp and circumstance. "Cloud, Reno No-Last-Name."

"You gotta stop introducing me like that, yo," Reno groused. He stuck a hand out to Cloud, and after a moment Cloud's manners caught up to reality and he shook it.

"Reno's going to be lending us a hand with our little 'situation' if you get my drift!" Zack said happily, clapping the redhead on the shoulder.

"Sorry," Cloud murmured as apology for the delay in shaking the Turk's hand. "I didn't realize our backup was going to be a Turk."

"Lucky for us, Reno is bored and his sensible partner is out of town," Zack snickered. "He's the best backup we could ask for—nearly as skilled as Tseng without a Shinra-shaped stick up his ass."

Cloud tensed as Reno's eyes narrowed on Zack, but the foxy Turk broke the moment of tension with a deceptively bright and delighted laugh.

"Moron," Reno scolded. "He hears you talkin' like that we're both in trouble."

"Anyway," Zack said, waving Reno's concerns away. "He's agreed to let us know when Sephiroth vanishes wherever he goes and help us create a distraction. Most of the distraction is my job, of course, but Reno here will be making sure there are no cameras watching when you go catch up to our boy. Perfect, right?"

"And what will we owe you?" Cloud asked Reno suspiciously.

"Free of charge, yo," Reno drawled. "Your buddy here has a deal with our crew, so this one's on the house."

"A deal?" Cloud repeated, turning a suspicious look to Zack.

"Weren't you on your way to training?" Zack replied, instantly dodging the inquiry.

Cloud would have argued with him about it, but he really was running late for class. He barely breathed an apology before he ran for it.

He made it just before the lecture started, and blamed it on Zack. The teacher laughed and agreed that it was just like the good-old puppy to keep a student late just to make him run to class. Cloud sagged into his seat, and tried not to think of what sort of deals his friend and mentor might have been making with the Turks.

Waiting was harder than anything he'd experienced in training. Not telling Sephiroth was even harder. The man made excuses to pass him frequently, and they would share secret glances. Cloud tried to hide his nerves when they exchanged looks. It was easy to smile—being noticed by Sephiroth always filled Cloud with joy. It was harder to keep that smile from decaying into concern.

In the end, it only took two days before the call came in. Cloud was almost asleep, staring up at the ceiling, when his phone chimed. He lifted it, staring at the unrecognized number. It flashed the numbers for a moment, then, somehow, the display changed to read 'ANSWER IDIOT.' He answered.

"Yo," A voice he only barely recognized said. "We're moving. Get your ass dressed and get down to basement level three. I'll call you once you're there and tell you how to get down to your boyfriend without getting caught by Professor Creepy."

"Professor…?" Cloud rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"He's with Hojo, yo." Reno drawled. "Zack's making his move to distract the Prof, but you're gunna have to book it if you want to get down in time to take advantage of that."

"Shit." Cloud cursed, jumping out of bed and pulling on that day's uniform, still splayed on the ground from when he discarded it in a hurry earlier that night. "I'm on my way."

He had never cursed his combat boots so fervently. He struggled with the laces, eventually just knotting them both and shoving their trailing ends into the tops of his boots, hoping that his pants would cover them enough to hide his haste.

The wait for an elevator had never seemed longer. His mind was skipping, repeating the same things over and over. It whispered 'it's time, he's there' incessantly, over and over. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as the elevator 'ding'ed its arrival. His phone buzzed as he pressed the seldom-used button for 'B3', and he answered without hesitation.

"I'm on my way," he said briskly, assuming it was Reno. "Where do I go?"

"Once you get to basement three, you need to take the hallway to the left and avoid the screaming. Zack's got Hojo all tied up and frustrated, but it won't last forever."

"And where's Sephiroth inside?"

"Once you get around that corner, I don't have eyes on you." Reno replied, his voice almost serious, for him. "It ought to be a straight shot, but I can't guarantee it. Hojo doesn't allow us Turks to have cameras in his little hideaway, and the President likes him better than us, so what he says goes."

Cloud shivered, startled by how much that unnerved him. He didn't trust Turks, after all. Having one watching him shouldn't have been comforting. But it was not a nice thought to know that he was going into those labs after Sephiroth alone. Not when Zack and Reno were taking it so seriously.

He heard the yelling before the elevator actually reached its floor. The doors slid open without a sound, and Cloud wondered if that was Reno's doing, or if the doors never chimed below the main lobby. He'd never been in one of the basements before. He turned left, trying not to listen too closely to the screaming. But it was hard to ignore. It seemed to be coming from just around the corner to the right of him.

"—In the middle of important testing, and you barge in here for this?"

"President's orders, professor." Zack's voice was as calm and cheery as if he'd been having a chat with an old friend. "Thought you'd rather get it done now than during normal hours of operation, you know? You're a busy guy after all."

"If you weren't such a valuable test subject against my creatures." The furious voice muttered.

Cloud slipped through the swinging doors labeled with "Lab 3" before he could hear more. Inside, it was dark and quiet. A far cry from the ringing yells of the antechamber, which seemed to circle around the central column through which the elevator ran. Cloud blinked, trying to talk his eyes into adjusting to the gloom from the electric fluorescent lighting that was so normal in most of the building.

He walked through the hallway, past empty, dark exam rooms. The hum of machinery was pervasive in the background, but Cloud couldn't tell where it was coming from. He stepped carefully, knowing that his fear was probably unfounded, but afraid none the less. The lab felt unnatural. It felt , he realized suddenly, like the Nibelheim Mansion at home. He'd walked on its grounds once, and had been convinced there were ghosts all around him. This hallway held the same, ugly, uncomfortable feeling.

He saw a light down the hall and sped up, walking into a well-lit office. Glancing around at the desk covered in notebooks and scrawled notes, he grimaced a little. There was a strange smell in the room that reminded him of the layers of sickness covered with sterilization that had filled the doctors offices of his childhood. He cast his eyes around the room. In one wall, an incongruous window showed a different lit room beyond.

Cloud gasped the moment his eyes landed on the figure in the next room. He dropped all thoughts of haunted buildings and childhood doctors. He sprinted through the office into the adjoining lab, leaving the door gaping open behind him, riveted and horrified by what was within.

Sephiroth was hunched over a rigid support that held him curled over it on his knees. Straps held him in place, though he showed no signs of fighting against them. Needles protruded from his back, some sort of fluid being pushed into his spinal cord at intervals through the slender dark hoses connected to them. Cloud choked, moving forward quickly towards him, dropping to his knees nearby.

"Cloud," Sephiroth whispered, without turning his head to look at him. "You should not be here."

"What is he—" Cloud rasped. "What is he doing to you?"

"Calm down," Sephiroth said as Cloud inched around to inspect his face, finding his eyes calm and composed despite the pain he had to be in. "You need to go, Cloud. I need you to leave this place."

"Seph!" Cloud choked. "I have to get you free, I—"

"You will do no such thing," Sephiroth reprimanded with a cold strength in his words. "You will turn around and go. Quickly. Whatever distraction drew him away will not last long."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cloud asked softly. "Why didn't you tell me he was doing this to you?"

"You know why," Sephiroth replied calmly. "It puts you in danger."

"Me," Cloud hissed. "I'm not the one in danger here, Sephiroth! You're—I'm not leaving you here." Cloud insisted, touching his fingers to Sephiroth's sweat-drenched brow.

"You are," Sephiroth replied, not moving under his touch. "Cloud, you are. You cannot unhook me without paralyzing me. Only Hojo can. I need you to leave me here. If you are still here when he returns, then we will both be his prisoners, and that is an unacceptable cost."

"Seph, you can't ask me to-"

"I am not asking you," Sephiroth whispered. "I am telling you. Cut your losses. Go. I will come to you the moment I am free to. I will let you and Zachary help however you can. But you must go now. Right now. You must say not a word, you must make sure no one sees you on your way out, and you must promise me that you will tell no one."

"You're hurt," Cloud whispered in weak protest.

"I will be more hurt if he takes you from me," Sephiroth replied, lifting his bright, pained eyes to Cloud. His breath was shaking in his lungs. "Go, Cloud. Now."

"As soon as you can?" Cloud whispered, blinking back tears.

"As soon as I can." Sephiroth agreed, his voice barely a breath.

Cloud leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to his lover's lips. Then he pressed their foreheads together lightly, briefly, taking care not to shift Sephiroth an inch, in case he hurt him accidentally.

"Please be alright," Cloud whispered to him, willing the universe to bend to his will on that point, if nothing else.

"I will come home to you," Sephiroth promised. "Please. Go."

Cloud pulled away from him, keeping his eyes on the man he loved as long as he could, watching Sephiroth. He memorized the ugly view of the beautiful man's bowed back, the tubes protruding from the needles jammed into his spine, the soft tremble of his pale skin against the cold air.

He closed the door between them and ran from the office. He didn't want to, but he knew he was short on time. There was only so long even a Turk like Reno and a Soldier like Zack could distract Hojo. He slowed his run to a near-silent creep the moment he heard how loud his own footsteps echoed in the hall. He was just in time to hear someone step through the swinging doors, storming towards him. He cast about a moment, then stepped into one of the empty, open exam rooms, stepping around to hide behind the open door, pressing his back against the wall. He hoped desperately he'd been fast enough to avoid detection, but part of him wanted Hojo to find him. At least then he might manage to get a punch in on the bastard. It seemed to take forever for Hojo to come closer. Cloud had forgotten how enhanced he was—how much sooner he heard things like footsteps coming than he'd used to.

Cloud closed his eyes, ducking further into the corner as the steps grew closer still. He squeezed his hands into fists anxiously. He shouldn't have worried. Hojo stormed past him, muttering to himself, utterly distracted. He sounded furious. Cloud's heartbeat hammered in his chest with fear for Sephiroth. The impotence of being unable to help made his stomach twist.

He reached the elevator without incident, and wanted to cry. He met Zack right then and there, still waiting for the doors to open as the elevator reached them.

"No luck?" Zack asked, looking strained and worried.

Cloud shook his head slowly, tucking his chin in shame. "He doesn't want saving." He whispered in reply.

Zack let out a slow breath, pulling out his phone. The sound of his thumb against the keys filled the empty air around the two friends as they stepped onto the elevator. Cloud pressed the button for their floor while Zack wrote.

"You're pale." Zack said softly once he'd finished his message. "Was he bad?"

Cloud shook his head slowly. "I can't talk about it." He clenched his eyes shut, torn between wanting to brand the image of Sephiroth's pain in his mind and wanting to erase it. "He promised he would explain everything when he came over tonight."

"Cloud." Zack said bleakly, watching him with uncharacteristically dark eyes. "You should know by now. Sephiroth lies to get what he thinks he thinks he needs sometimes."

"I know." Cloud whispered, lifting his hands to cover his face. "I know, Zack…"

They didn't speak the rest of the trip home. They walked into the apartment together, and Zack wandered into the kitchen immediately, even as Cloud flopped onto the sofa, staring at his hands and his poorly tied shoes without actually seeing them. When Zack returned and shoved a soda into his hands, Cloud took it without question.

"He's not an easy guy to care about." Zack said, his voice rough and as unhappy as Cloud had ever heard it.

"I'm starting to get that." Cloud whispered, cracking open the sugary drink and taking a swig as though it were a shot of alcohol.

"He's selfish and cruel." Zack said with venom. "And there are days I wish I didn't give two shits about him."

"Is there a 'but' coming?" Cloud asked, glancing over at Zack with faint worry.

"I don't know." The First replied with a huff. "It's hard to tell. Some days I'm filled with excuses for him. He's been hurt, he's been abandoned, he's been alone. No one can be normal who grew up in Shinra. Other days, I really wish I hated him."

"Come on, Zack." Cloud sighed. "It's not his fault Hojo's messing with him… You should have heard him in there… He was really worried I'd get caught."

"Because it would be dangerous for you, or because of how it would affect him?" Zack asked with a chill in his voice.

Cloud chewed on his lip, uncomfortable with Zack so cold and harsh beside him. He shook his head slowly.

"Both, I think." He replied quietly. "Zack, he was… He was really hurt."

Zack let out a slow breath, lowering his head. "Yeah." He muttered after a moment. "I know. I believe you… I'm sorry, Spike, I need some time to clear my head. I love Seph, I do. He's as good a friend as he can be. It's just tiring sometimes."

"What happened between you two?" Cloud asked softly, turning to Zack with furrowed brows. "You get so angry at him sometimes. And for things like this… He didn't do anything wrong, did he?"

"He never tells anyone anything." Zack said sharply, standing off the sofa and putting down his drink to pace. "He just does as he pleases and expects everyone else to fall in line."

"Well, he is the General." Cloud offered weakly.

"And I'm supposed to be his friend!" Zack snapped, stopping where he was pacing to glare at Cloud.

Cloud flinched, and watched as the rage on Zack's face vanished, replaced by empathy and regret.

"Sorry, Spike." He whispered. "There was some bad blood between us before. I'm still working on forgiving him, I guess."

"It's okay." Cloud said, shaking his head. "You're my friend. I want to know what's bothering you. Just… Be nice when he comes tonight, okay? Give him a while to recover before going into it?"

"You got it." Zack agreed. "Why don't we get things ready for him to spend the night. You set up some tea and stuff, maybe change your sheets if they're gross, and I'll go grab some clothes for him from his place."

"Yeah," Cloud breathed, nodding slowly and setting down the cold can, wiping the beads of moisture that had gathered on his palm off on his pants. "Yeah, that sounds smart."

"Of course it's smart. I'm smart most of the time!" Zack said, recovering his grin and lifting a finger. "Come on. We're Soldiers, not thinkers. We'll do better doing stuff than sitting around worrying."

Cloud cracked a grin for him and stood up with a nod. He tried to ignore the way his hands were shaking and sweating, and the stiffness of tension in his thighs and back. He tried to unclench his teeth, but he couldn't seem to figure out how to get his jaw to relax.

The moment Zack was gone to grab Sephiroth's things, Cloud sat down on the sofa again and put his head in his hands. He needed to put new sheets on the bed for Sephiroth, but he couldn't find the energy to do it. He was lost in anxiety. What if Sephiroth didn't show up at all? What if he couldn't? His warning about paralysis floated through Cloud's mind, and his stomach almost rebelled at the thought. Blindness had not treated Sephiroth kindly. What would happen to him if he was immobilized?

The door opened and Cloud jumped to his feet, turning to explain to Zack why he'd just been sitting around. His eyes met the weary form of Sephiroth instead. The silver haired man leaned back against the door, closing it with his shoulder and resting against it for a moment, his head tilted back and breathing slowly. Even from where he stood, Cloud could see the stiff muscles and tendons of his neck work as he swallowed.

"Sephiroth?" He moved towards the man, his hands outstretched carefully.

Bright green eyes flickered open and fixated on him. Sephiroth let out a slow breath, lowering his head and reaching out to take Cloud's hands in one of his own, giving them a brief squeeze.

"Don't look so worried." He rumbled.

"How can I not?" Cloud squeezed Sephiroth's grip in return. "Can you walk alright? You should sit down…"

"Is Zachary here?" Sephiroth asked, his eyes squinted again, as though they were hurting him once more.

Cloud shook his head. "He went upstairs to get some of your clothes. We were hoping you'd spend the night."

"Is the sleepover party penance for missing pizza night?" Sephiroth asked, a pleasantly socialite smile on his face.

"Sephiroth," Cloud whispered. "Please don't joke right now."

The smile slid slowly off Sephiroth's face, leaving him looking tired and a little lost. He shifted uneasily, still leaning on the door, even as he held Cloud's hands steadily.

"I think you're right that I should sit down." He said at last, his eyes falling closed. "I'll accept your invitation for now, at least."

"Do you need to lean on me?" Cloud offered softly and seriously.

Sephiroth snorted, and cracked a smile. Cloud sighed at him, but didn't scold this time. The crooked smirk looked truer than the smile he'd used last time, and Cloud could deal with a little stung pride if it provided Sephiroth some relief.

"How's your back?" He asked softly as Sephiroth stepped off the door, walking towards the living room without releasing Cloud's hand.

"It's fine." Sephiroth said blankly before he paused in place, shaking his head twice, as though trying to escape something. "No. That's not true. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Cloud said quickly, watching Sephiroth's lips tighten at the corners and his brow furrow. "Come sit down, okay?"

Sephiroth let himself be lead to the sofa and sat down slowly and stiffly. Cloud paused, watching him, then leaned forward to give him a soft, slow kiss. Sephiroth's mouth tasted like blood and mako, but Cloud didn't mention it. For a moment, the lips under his were stiff from discomfort, but then they slowly relaxed into the touch. Cloud pulled back to let Sephiroth breathe out slowly.

"Do you need any first aid?" He asked, pushing Sephiroth's bangs back behind his ear so that he could see his face better.

"I don't think so." Sephiroth murmured. "But it does… It does burn."

"Painkillers don't work, right?" Cloud said, frowning to himself. "Will you let me see? Maybe I can help."

Sephiroth glanced over at him, looking uncertain. His brows were lowered, and his lips were tight at the corners. Cloud watched him struggle internally, and started to regret asking at the look of tension on Sephiroth's face.

"Just—" Sephiroth finally bit out through clenched teeth. "Just be gentle."

"Of course!" Cloud's brows twisted and he shifted his hand to cup Sephiroth's cheek, feeling his jaw clenched tight under his hand. "I wouldn't ask except that I'm scared. You looked so hurt.."

"It was just an experiment." Sephiroth replied, his voice strained.

"How often do they happen?" Cloud shook his head. "How often do you go? Is that what you keep getting paged for?"

"Cloud." Sephiroth whispered. "I know I promised to answer all your questions, but can it wait just a little while?"

Cloud took one look at the wan, stressed look on Sephiroth's face and let out a breath, releasing his questions. He stroked a hand up through Sephiroth's hair, cupping the back of his head to touch their foreheads together.

"Of course." He whispered. "Will you take your shirt off for me, please?"

"I would prefer if you just cut it off me." Sephiroth sighed. "It's just one of my casual ones, not a uniform. No great loss, and I would prefer not to...Contort. In any way."

Cloud gave a serious nod and fetched the scissors. He returned to find Sephiroth lying face down over the sofa, his legs bent to keep himself from being too long for the sofa. Cloud crouched by his head, brushing his hair out of his face and giving him a small smile. Sephiroth blinked at him from where he was pillowed on his arms, and gave a try at returning it.

They met in a brief, soft kiss, and Cloud touched their heads together lightly, keeping the scissors well out of the way as he rested his free hand over Sephiroth's hair.

"I'm so glad you're home." He whispered, pressing a kiss to Sephiroth's cheek.

He sat up slowly, looking over the shirt Sephiroth was wearing before nodding to himself. He carefully pulled his lover's hair out of the way, then lifted the collar of Sephiroth's shirt, cutting down the length of it with slow, methodical movements. The mottled bruises were instantly apparently beneath the white shirt. Specks of dry blood dotted where the tubes had connected, and Sephiroth's back was an agonizing display of purple bruises circling around where his spine had been impaled. Cloud winced at the series of four circles, and carefully rested his hand on the back of Sephiroth's shoulder, which seemed to be free of the effects.

"What the hell was this for?" He asked softly.

"Something to do with spinal fluid and my nervous system." The General replied, his voice muffled from having his face turned into the sofa. "I've stopped paying much attention to the specifics."

"Does this happen every time?" Cloud asked softly.

Sephiroth grunted what sounded like a negative, and Cloud sighed at the inarticulate response.

"You said it was burning, right?" he asked, rubbing the bruise-free spot on Sephiroth's shoulder. "Think some cold water might help?"

"I don't think I can handle the shower or sitting in the bath right now." Green eyes squinted back at him as Sephiroth turned his head. "I will wait it out."

"I wasn't going to make you move." Cloud corrected, shaking his head a little. "I was thinking maybe a damp towel? I could wet it with cold water. It might help a little."

Sephiroth looked hesitant, but eventually nodded his assent, turning his face back into the sofa. Cloud heard him sigh something along the lines of 'worth a try.' He took it as confirmation and squeezed Sephiroth's bicep lightly in affection before going to fetch what he needed.

It didn't take long to fetch the towel and wet it down with cold water. He made sure his weary boyfriend knew when he was about to place it over his skin, and moved as slowly as he could to make sure he caused no pain. From the low, relieved moan Sephiroth released into the sofa, he shouldn't have worried.

"Better?" He asked unnecessarily.

"Feels good." Sephiroth agreed. He let that statement hang in the air a moment before he spoke again. "Why did you come, Cloud?"

"You kept running off." Cloud whispered. "Kept acting strange. Zack and I got a little scared so we decided…"

"To stalk me?" Sephiroth cracked an eye open to study Cloud.

"No." Cloud muttered. "More like we hired a Turk to stalk you."

He caught a glimpse of Sephiroth's teeth as the General favored him with a brief grin. "I'm a bad influence on you."

"More like Zack's a bad influence on both of us." Cloud teased back, even as he pulled a strand of Sephiroth's hair free from the towel.

The fell into silence for a while, and Cloud was happy to let it stretch. Sephiroth seemed calm, and as much as he wanted answers he was more than happy to sit at his boyfriend's side and watch him breathe for a while. He found himself stroking his fingers slowly through Sephiroth's hair, his fingertips brushing his scalp.

By the time Zack actually returned, Sephiroth was half-asleep, his eyes lidded and glowing softly in what Cloud hoped was contentment and not discomfort. He barely shifted at all when Zack opened the door.

"Oh good." Zack sighed, closing the door behind himself. "You're here." He wandered over, frowning at the way Sephiroth and Cloud were arranged. "Not healed yet?"

"It's working on it." Sephiroth sighed. "They were deep injections, and it takes my spinal column a lot of energy to heal itself."

"Ugh, gods!" Zack's face twisted in distaste. "That fucker is stepping way outside his bounds."

Sephiroth shifted to cut a look up at Zack. "Pot, meet kettle."

"Yeah, but I'm only breaking rules that don't hurt anything." Zack said, waving a hand. "If you got called out to battle tonight, what the hell would you do? Limp menacingly towards the enemy? Ever since Nibelheim you've been less functional. And not just because of your eyes. What changed, Sephiroth? Why are you going down there all the time?"

Sephiroth let out a slow breath, and Cloud touched a hand to his shoulder. The Silver-haired man started to sit up, his face tight in concentration.

"Hey, woah, stay down, man." Zack argued, moving the rest of the way over and crouching next to him.

"I don't like lying down and talking." Sephiroth replied, still halfway through pushing himself up.

"I know." Zack said, dropping to sit at Cloud's side by Sephiroth's head. "You can't read people without watching their faces." He turned to Cloud with a half-smile. "That's why he was such an asshole when he was blind, you know."

Sephiroth didn't bother objecting. He dropped back to the sofa's surface and gazed at them out of weary eyes. Cloud brushed his fingers lightly through Sephiroth's hair again. The huddle was as awkward as it was intimate

"So." Zack said after a moment. "What changed?"

"How do you mean?" Sephiroth's voice was low and hesitant.

"You've been going down there for years." Zack said mildly, waving a hand. "I always figured it was for the same sort of thing I did for him. Fight some monsters, listen to him mutter about it, maybe do some strength testing. But if he's been calling you down there every time you vanish and show up all grumpy, then it's happening pretty damn often. And there's no doubt that he's not just having you fight."

Sephiroth was silent a moment, his eyes resting on Zack's face with an assessing look.

"I'm getting your sofa wet." He commented after a moment.

"It's fine." Cloud said before Zack could get annoyed ast Sephiroth's non-response. "We're more interested in you than the sofa."

"Come on, Seph." Zack said after a moment. "You promised Cloud, right?"

Cloud lifted his chin a little as Sephiroth's eyes slid over to study him. He met that gaze, his look expectant in return. He wanted to trust Sephiroth. He wanted to believe that the man had meant every word. Sephiroth drew in a slow breath, and Cloud clenched his free hand tightly, hoping to hear an explanation.

"I did promise." Sephiroth said after a long moment. "Him and you both. But I'm afraid I do not have many answers myself yet. You are right, Zack. It has changed."

"Since what happened with your eyes?" Zack asked propping his chin on his fist. He looked slightly surprised, and cast Cloud an appraising look, as though re-thinking something.

"Since the mission itself." Sephiroth replied blearily. "He has always been… Thorough. But since Nibelheim, he has grown—" He trailed off with a soft sigh.

"Sadistic?" Cloud offered after a second.

"A good enough word." Sephiroth replied in assent. "He is frustrated. Angry, even. But he has never made a secret of what failings he saw in me before. Aside from scolding me for saving you rather than completing the mission, he has said nothing about where I have failed. Nothing about what I've done to deserve this."

"Well, first things first, you don't deserve it." Zack said, lifting an authoritative finger. "And second things second, he's always been crazy. He probably just lost it. We'll go to the president, talk to him, get him to see—"

"Hojo is not crazy." Sephiroth said, his voice a low, fierce growl.

"He's not?" Cloud asked, lifting a corner of the towel to check on Sephiroth's back. He watched one of the puncture wounds shift as it slowly healed closed, and quickly put the towel back, averting his eyes from the unsettling sight.

"Not at all." Sephiroth said softly. "Madness is containable. Deniable. Hojo is a genius. His experimental designs may not always be clear to those watching from outside his head, but his results are undeniable. After all, I am one of them."

His voice grew breathy as he spoke, and he eventually trailed, off, his back rising and falling with his every breath.

"But you said he's being irrational now." Zack said after a moment.

"Usually I am privy to some of what he is thinking." Sephiroth replied. "Now, his disappointment is a mystery. I only know that it has to do with the mission in Nibelheim."

"There's no excuse for this, though." Cloud whispers. "Why does he touch you at all? Is this about what you told me? About Shinra owning you?"

"I was created on their payroll." Sephiroth replied with a sigh. "As a company asset, if I was a success. Which I was and continue to be, if you had any doubt. Hojo is in charge of making sure I remain the scientific triumph I have always been. He's the one who created me in the first place after all."

The three of them fell silent for a moment. Cloud felt like he ought to object. Hojo, create Sephiroth? It seemed impossible. Worse than impossible—it seemed like an internalized lie. The same sort of mantra that had told him he was weak since he was small, that had told him he was useless, that had told him he was unwanted… But he did not dare object. Sephiroth was in his body and mind, and Cloud was not. He couldn't object to the words, even though he wanted to. And from the look on Zack's face, he was in the same boat.

"What can we do right now?" Zack asked after letting the silence sit a long while.

"I need sleep." Sephiroth whispered.

"The couch is a little short for you." Cloud said softly. "Can you make it to my bed?"

"I made it here to the apartment, didn't I?" Sephiroth replied softly.

"Come on, buddy." Zack said, offering Sephiroth a hand. "Let's get you some rest, then."

Sephiroth eyed Zack's hand, glancing up at him. Then he shook his head a little and pushed himself up without assistance. Cloud caught the damp towel as it fell, stepping back as Sephiroth straightened. The tall General cracked his neck as he stood, his eyes half-closed and deceptively calm.

Cloud was watching as Zack slowly withdrew his offered hand and shoved it into his pocket. He watched him take a slow breath and let it out, calming himself down firmly before summoning a calm smile.

"Why don't you two go settle in?" He offered. "I'll see if I can wrangle you some time off in the morning, Seph."

"Thank you, Zachary." Sephiroth said, blinking and turning to Zack with what looked like surprise on his face. It was hard to tell, exactly. Sephiroth's expressions came out as though they'd been filtered and strained till they were nearly invisible by the time they reached his face. "I would very much appreciate that."

"Heh." Zack's smile turned more true. "Sure. What are friends for?"

Cloud cast his roommate and mentor a worried look as Sephiroth moved stiffly towards the bedroom.

'Stay with him.' Zack mouthed, pressing his hands together in request.

'Always.' Cloud mouthed in reply with a firm nod.

Sephiroth lay down stiffly, face down on Cloud's bed, and Cloud was careful to sit lightly on its side so he wouldn't shift him too much.

"One day you have to sleep over when you're not hurt." Cloud whispered, only halfway joking.

"I would like that very much."

He sounded half asleep already, and Cloud stroked a hand over his exposed tricep as Sephiroth pillowed his head on his own folded arms.

"Want your towel?" Cloud offered weakly.

"Yes." Sephiroth replied, turning his head so he could look up at Cloud with his cheek pillowed on his arms.

Cloud gently pulled the mass of his hair out of the way, setting the towel down to do so. The silver strands clung in slender coils and rivers to Sephiroth's damp back. Cloud tried to look at them instead of the ugly bruised places. He paused before he lay the towel down, though, staring at the marks on Sephiroth's back. Beneath Sephiroth's pale skin dark veins were twisting from the epicenter of each puncture. Cloud bit his lip, his stomach twisting as he watched the dark veins for just a moment before laying the wet towel over Sephiroth's back again, hiding them from view. He instantly tried to convince himself he had not seen those dark streams within his boyfriend moving like living things.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth was watching him. "What's wrong."

"I just don't like seeing you hurt." Cloud answered truthfully. "It feels wrong… I always kind of thought you were untouchable. But ever since the mission it seems like one thing after another."

"Don't get used to it." Sephiroth rumbled. "True randomness comes in clumps and patterns. What most people think of as random is nothing but a series of evenly spaced events. You simply became close to me during a particularly violent time in the chaotic nature of the world."

"Will you keep going to him?" Cloud asked after a moment, shifting further onto the bed, leaving his feet off it since they were still encased in boots.

"Yes." Sephiroth replied, blinking slowly at Cloud.

"I want you to tell me when you're going." He clenched his hands in his lap, wishing he could demand that Sephiroth stay at his side, and keep himself safe, but knowing that was asking more than he dared. "Even if I can't help. I want to know when you're in trouble. When you're hurt."

Sephiroth's visible eye narrowed, his pupil widening and constricting as he thought. Then he let out a slow breath, closing his eyes altogether.

"If I can." He murmured.

"Promise me." Cloud demanded softly, touching Sephiroth's shoulder to make sure he had his attention.

"Or what?" Sephiroth asked with a chill in his voice, squinting up at him. "You'll leave?"

Cloud pulled back, startled by the response. He floundered, blinking, unsure how to respond to that. He swallowed, his lips tightening in misery and stress.

"No." He whispered. "I won't leave. I won't make any threats, Sephiroth. I'm not holding anything hostage. I just want you to promise me that you'll let me know when you're going to be in danger. Is that so much to ask?"

Green eyes that seemed even less human than usual glared up at him for a long moment more before Sephiroth sighed, his pale lips parting as he gave a weary shake of his head.

"Sometimes I will be unable to." He whispered. "I will be surrounded by executives, or otherwise unable to communicate freely. But if I have the option, I promise I will let you know."

"Thank you." Cloud whispered, letting out a sigh of breath with the words, feeling a weight lift off his chest. "Thank you, Sephiroth."

"Lie with me a while." Sephiroth shifted, and Cloud rubbed his shoulder gently as he moved, hoping to ease his discomfort at least a little.

He kicked off his badly tied boots and turned to lie on his side, facing Sephiroth. For a moment, he closed the distance between them and they kissed, the touch of their lips soft and fleeting. Sephiroth's pale lips were cracked with dehydration and his reaction to the kiss was terribly subdued compared to his usual enthusiasm. By the time the kiss broke, he already seemed to be falling asleep. Cloud shifted just a little, pressing their foreheads together as they lay side by side, listening to one another breathe.

"Don't ever go down there again." Sephiroth whispered into the silence between them. "If I ever hear you've entered the labs again, I will kick you out of the program without a thought. I want you to achieve your dreams, and I want you at my side, but your safety is more important. Do you understand?"

"No need for threats." Cloud muttered, pulling back to meet his eyes. "I won't go down there again so long as you hold up your end of the deal."

Sephiroth watched him a long while, as though assessing his words. From so close, Cloud could see the miniscule pinprick scars in his sclera from whatever had been done to restore his eyesight. Then the scars were obstructed as Sephiroth closed his eyes and nodded his understanding.

"Get some sleep, okay?" Cloud whispered, reaching up a hand to brush his fingers over Sephiroth's har. "We can talk tomorrow."

"Good night, Cloud." Sephiroth whispered after a moment.

"Good night, Sephiroth." Cloud replied.

He watched as Sephiroth went limp slowly, one tense muscle at a time. His chest ached at the sight of him, so tired and hurt. The image of his calm green eyes as he was held in place with needles going straight into his spinal column would not leave Cloud alone. He closed his eyes, trying to envision Sephiroth as he should be, tall and calm and with that faint gleam of pleasure and relaxation in his eyes. It was achingly hard to hold onto that image in comparison to the times he'd seen him hurt. He caught a breath at the very thought, opening his eyes to look down at Sephiroth's face, relaxed and still in sleep.

"I love you so much." He whispered down to the sleeping man, brushing the strands of silver bangs out from where they were dangling before his lips. "Please, please be okay."


End file.
